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Help with Your Divorce

Marriage always begins on a high note, with high hopes, high expectations. But marriage is not always easy, and nearly half of the marriages in the US end in divorce (some of these are repeat offenders, your odds are actually better than 50/50 when it comes to marriage and divorce). A divorce ends the marriage partnership and the sharing of assets. Assuming you are reading this page, more than likely your marriage is not one of the lifelong happy ones, and divorce is either a consideration or already a reality. For most of us, divorce only comes up once in a lifetime, so we need help when it comes to dealing with the legal paperwork, the divorce procedures, how it all works. Keep in mind that a divorce can effect each individual in a totally different way - some people become depressed while others enjoy there newfound freedom.



You should start with research. Almost everyone has friends that are divorced. Sit down and talk with them and find out about the process - what worked well for them, what didn't. Get advice on attorneys, finances, and anything else they have to share with you. These people are resources - use them. You're going to be concerned with issues like property division (who gets what), child custody and visitation rights, child support and alimony, and more. Most people quickly realize that a divorce will have a huge financial impact on their lives. Money that used to support 1 household now has to support two households - everyone's standard of living is likely to drop. Unlike child support payments, alimony payments are taxable, and not that many women receive them. Alimony normally lasts for a short period, but child support last until the child reaches the age of emancipation, which is 18 in many states, but up to 23 in some states.

So as you begin your divorce research, check out DivorceNet.Com. They have specific advice applicable to your state, and they offer referrals in your area for divorce lawyers, financial professionals, child custody experts, pension experts, and private investigators. They have articles like "Do it yourself divorce", "Divorce dictionary", "How to Save on Legal Fees", "Top 10 Questions to ask a divorce attorney", and much more. Spend a few hours reading up on the topic of divorce - the more you know, the better you will fare, both emotionally and financially. Once branch of divorce law is called collaborative family law, whereby the parties work together to: defuse the battle, stay out of court, minimize fear and distrust, solve problems, open lines of communication, and reach agreements. No one wins when there are long drawn out battles over assets, child custody, property - except for the divorce lawyers who whittle away at your assets with their outrageously high fees (outsourcing jobs to China and India - can't we get rid of some of these over-priced attorneys??)

Divorce Attorneys

Divorce attorneys tend to get a bad rap, and for good reason. They charge outrageous expenses, taking advantage of people during a very difficult time in their lives. Imagine if your child was kidnapped and a nice lawyer stepped forward and volunteered to help you for just $500 an hour, charging you $100 for a 10 minute phone call and $800 to create a flyer poster. People would freak out and lynch the guy. But in a divorce case, this is somehow OK. The goal of any divorce should be an absolute minimum of attorney costs. There is no good reason to spend $50,000 on a divorce lawyer unless you are dealing in a situation where the marital assets are worth millions of dollars and the stakes are very high. Otherwise, every dollar spent on attorneys is money right out of your own pocket - don't fall victim to this game. Unfortunately, due to the complexities of divorce cases, you do need to have an attorney represent you and assist in the divorce planning process - so choose your divorce lawyer carefully. Finding a divorce attorney: You should ask questions like: Do you specialize in divorces? How will you charge me? What costs other than your own will be involved? What will be the total cost of the divorce (estimate)? How long will it take to resolve my divorce?

Planning for Divorce

What should I do if I think I am getting divorced? Some divorces are done amicably and there is not a lot of squabbling over splitting assets, alimony, etc. However, if you have even an inkling that your divorce may involved arguing, disputes, and complications, you should take some steps to protect yourself. Opinions will vary as to how to prepare for a divorce, but there is a lot of common advice, such as:
  • Don't move out of the house if you have children - this can interfere with your future custody rights.
  • Don't let your spouse leave with the kids - no one has a right to "take" the children from the other parent.
  • Cancel jointly owned credit cards - don't allow one spouse to ring up debt in the others name.
  • Split all jointly held bank accounts, and make sure your spouse does not try to grab it all.
  • Store your personal property and papers somewhere safe - birth certificates, valuable personal items, pension documents, etc.
  • Make an inventory of all your communal marital property in the house - do it with a camcorder, and do it with your spouse if possible.
  • Don't sign any papers or sign away any rights early in the game.
  • Halt contributions to 401K or retirement accounts until divorce is finalized - otherwise you are giving more money to your spouse.
Another good site for information on divorce planning and preparation is here. Some of their categories of articles and information: Divorce Strategies - How to Stop the Revenge Cycle, Divorce and Dating, Family Law FAQs, How much does a divorce cost?, Child Custody and Visitation Issues, Custody Evaluations, Child Support Questions, Alimony and Spousal Maintenance, Valuing and Dividing the Marital Estate, Home Mortgages - Debt and Divorce, Do it Yourself Divorce, Six Things Women Need to Know About Divorce and Money. Check it out - it is a good reference point to become familiar with some of the issues you will be facing.

Do you have a quality site or product that belongs in this guide? We are always happy to evaluate or review new products and websites. Feel free to contact us at the email address below and let us know about you. If you have a demo product you'd like us to look at, please contact us before sending anything. Thank you.


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